No relationship is free from disagreement. Friends, relatives, classmates and colleagues may disagree with each other simply because they have different needs, expectations or opinions. A difference of opinion does not always lead people to have an argument, but the way they respond can decide whether a small problem disappears or becomes something more serious.
Our attitude often shapes our behaviour during a disagreement. If people are already tired or stressed, they may get annoyed with each other more easily. A careless comment can annoy another person or hurt their feelings, even when no harm was intended. As a result, someone may get upset and react more strongly than usual. Every action can have consequences, and words said in anger can sometimes remain in a person’s mind long after the argument itself has ended.
For this reason, knowing when to calm down can be just as important as knowing how to speak your mind. Expressing an opinion honestly is healthy, but continuing a discussion while both people are angry may make the situation worse. Sometimes the best way to avoid an argument is to pause and return to the conversation when everyone is ready to listen.
Once emotions are calmer, people can begin to deal with the problem itself. This usually means being willing to discuss the problem rather than pretending that nothing happened. A misunderstanding may simply need someone to clear it up, while a more serious disagreement may require both sides to look for a solution. To solve a problem, people often need to understand not only what happened, but also why each person reacted as they did.
Repairing a relationship also requires responsibility. It can be difficult to admit you were wrong, especially when you believe the other person also made mistakes. However, choosing to take responsibility for your own actions does not mean accepting all the blame. It means recognising the part you played in the situation.
A sincere apology can be an important step. To apologise to another person is more than simply saying “sorry”; it means showing that you understand how your actions affected them. The other person may decide to accept the apology, although this does not always happen immediately. If someone is disappointed with a friend, rebuilding confidence may take time.
People also have to decide whether they are willing to give each other another chance. There is no single answer that works for every relationship. Sometimes an honest conversation is enough to repair the damage. In other cases, repeated negative behaviour may show that a bigger change is needed. What matters is whether both people are willing to learn from what happened and work towards a fair solution.
Disagreements are uncomfortable, but they can also reveal how people handle pressure, responsibility and strong emotions. A relationship is not necessarily weak because conflict occurs. What often matters more is whether the people involved can communicate honestly, take responsibility and repair the relationship afterwards.
Learn: in this unit, you will explore language for describing disagreements, emotional reactions, responsibility, apologies and ways of repairing relationships.
Our attitude often shapes our behaviour during a disagreement. If people are already tired or stressed, they may get annoyed with each other more easily. A careless comment can annoy another person or hurt their feelings, even when no harm was intended. As a result, someone may get upset and react more strongly than usual. Every action can have consequences, and words said in anger can sometimes remain in a person’s mind long after the argument itself has ended.
For this reason, knowing when to calm down can be just as important as knowing how to speak your mind. Expressing an opinion honestly is healthy, but continuing a discussion while both people are angry may make the situation worse. Sometimes the best way to avoid an argument is to pause and return to the conversation when everyone is ready to listen.
Once emotions are calmer, people can begin to deal with the problem itself. This usually means being willing to discuss the problem rather than pretending that nothing happened. A misunderstanding may simply need someone to clear it up, while a more serious disagreement may require both sides to look for a solution. To solve a problem, people often need to understand not only what happened, but also why each person reacted as they did.
Repairing a relationship also requires responsibility. It can be difficult to admit you were wrong, especially when you believe the other person also made mistakes. However, choosing to take responsibility for your own actions does not mean accepting all the blame. It means recognising the part you played in the situation.
A sincere apology can be an important step. To apologise to another person is more than simply saying “sorry”; it means showing that you understand how your actions affected them. The other person may decide to accept the apology, although this does not always happen immediately. If someone is disappointed with a friend, rebuilding confidence may take time.
People also have to decide whether they are willing to give each other another chance. There is no single answer that works for every relationship. Sometimes an honest conversation is enough to repair the damage. In other cases, repeated negative behaviour may show that a bigger change is needed. What matters is whether both people are willing to learn from what happened and work towards a fair solution.
Disagreements are uncomfortable, but they can also reveal how people handle pressure, responsibility and strong emotions. A relationship is not necessarily weak because conflict occurs. What often matters more is whether the people involved can communicate honestly, take responsibility and repair the relationship afterwards.
Learn: in this unit, you will explore language for describing disagreements, emotional reactions, responsibility, apologies and ways of repairing relationships.
Basic terms
attitude — [ˈæt.ɪ.tjuːd] — the way you think and feel about someone or something, which often affects how you behave; attieksme
responsibility — [rɪˌspɒn.səˈbɪl.ə.ti] — the duty to deal with something or to accept that your actions have caused a particular situation; atbildība
consequence — [ˈkɒn.sɪ.kwəns] — a result of something that has happened, especially an unpleasant result; sekas
apology — [əˈpɒl.ə.dʒi] — something you say or write to show that you are sorry for something you have done wrong; atvainošanās
behaviour — [bɪˈheɪ.vjər] — the way a person acts, especially towards other people; uzvedība, izturēšanās
solution — [səˈluː.ʃən] — a way of solving a problem or dealing successfully with a difficult situation; risinājums
responsibility — [rɪˌspɒn.səˈbɪl.ə.ti] — the duty to deal with something or to accept that your actions have caused a particular situation; atbildība
consequence — [ˈkɒn.sɪ.kwəns] — a result of something that has happened, especially an unpleasant result; sekas
apology — [əˈpɒl.ə.dʒi] — something you say or write to show that you are sorry for something you have done wrong; atvainošanās
behaviour — [bɪˈheɪ.vjər] — the way a person acts, especially towards other people; uzvedība, izturēšanās
solution — [səˈluː.ʃən] — a way of solving a problem or dealing successfully with a difficult situation; risinājums
Phrases
hurt someone’s feelings — [ˌhɜːt ˌsʌm.wʌnz ˈfiː.lɪŋz] — to make someone feel sad or upset because of something you say or do; aizskart kāda jūtas
get annoyed with someone — [ɡet əˈnɔɪd wɪð ˌsʌm.wʌn] — to become slightly angry with someone because of something they have done; sadusmoties uz kādu, būt aizkaitinātam
annoy someone — [əˈnɔɪ ˌsʌm.wʌn] — to make someone slightly angry or irritated; kaitināt, sadusmot kādu
apologise to someone — [əˈpɒl.ə.dʒaɪz tə ˌsʌm.wʌn] — to tell someone that you are sorry for something wrong that you have done; atvainoties kādam
accept an apology — [əkˌsept ən əˈpɒl.ə.dʒi] — to accept that someone is sorry for something they have done; pieņemt atvainošanos
calm down — [ˌkɑːm ˈdaʊn] — to become calmer and less angry, worried or excited; nomierināties
admit you were wrong — [ədˌmɪt juː wə ˈrɒŋ] — to accept and say that something you thought, said or did was not correct; atzīt, ka esi kļūdījies
take responsibility — [ˌteɪk rɪˌspɒn.səˈbɪl.ə.ti] — to accept that you are responsible for something you have done or for dealing with a problem; uzņemties atbildību
avoid an argument — [əˌvɔɪd ən ˈɑːɡ.jə.mənt] — to try not to become involved in an angry disagreement with someone; izvairīties no strīda
deal with a problem — [ˌdiːl wɪð ə ˈprɒb.ləm] — to take action to solve or manage a difficult situation; risināt problēmu, tikt galā ar problēmu
solve a problem — [ˌsɒlv ə ˈprɒb.ləm] — to find an answer or way of dealing successfully with a problem; atrisināt problēmu
be disappointed with someone — [bi ˌdɪs.əˈpɔɪn.tɪd wɪð ˌsʌm.wʌn] — to feel unhappy because someone has not behaved as well as you expected; vilties kādā
discuss the problem — [dɪˌskʌs ðə ˈprɒb.ləm] — to talk about a problem carefully so that people can understand it or find a solution; pārrunāt problēmu
give someone another chance — [ˌɡɪv ˌsʌm.wʌn əˌnʌð.ə ˈtʃɑːns] — to allow someone to try again after they have made a mistake or disappointed you; dot kādam vēl vienu iespēju
disagree with someone — [ˌdɪs.əˈɡriː wɪð ˌsʌm.wʌn] — to have a different opinion from another person; nepiekrist kādam
have an argument — [ˌhæv ən ˈɑːɡ.jə.mənt] — to have an angry conversation with someone because you disagree; sastrīdēties, strīdēties
speak your mind — to say openly and directly what you really think; atklāti pateikt, ko domā
clear something up — to explain or solve something that has caused confusion or misunderstanding; noskaidrot, izskaidrot, novērst pārpratumu
Exam Skill: Identifying the Main Issue
Source 1. When a disagreement begins, it can be useful to discuss the problem immediately. Speaking openly may help people clear up a misunderstanding before it becomes more serious.
Source 2. Trying to solve a disagreement while people are angry can make the situation worse. Taking time to calm down may help both sides think more clearly and avoid hurting each other’s feelings.
Source 2. Trying to solve a disagreement while people are angry can make the situation worse. Taking time to calm down may help both sides think more clearly and avoid hurting each other’s feelings.
Model answer:
"The two sources raise the issue of when people should deal with a disagreement. While one source suggests that discussing a problem immediately can prevent a misunderstanding from becoming more serious, the other suggests that strong emotions may make communication more difficult. The central question is therefore whether people should deal with a conflict straight away or wait until they have had time to calm down."
Source 1. After an argument, some people believe it is important to talk about the problem as soon as possible. They argue that avoiding the issue can create more tension and may lead to further misunderstandings. An honest conversation can help both sides explain what happened and understand each other better.
Source 2. Other people prefer to wait before discussing a disagreement. They believe that strong emotions can make people say things they later regret. Taking time to calm down may help both sides think more clearly and approach the problem in a more respectful way.
Source 2. Other people prefer to wait before discussing a disagreement. They believe that strong emotions can make people say things they later regret. Taking time to calm down may help both sides think more clearly and approach the problem in a more respectful way.
Model answer:
"The two sources focus on the best time to deal with a disagreement. One view suggests that discussing a problem quickly can prevent further misunderstandings, while the other suggests that people may communicate more effectively after they have had time to calm down. The central issue is therefore whether conflicts should be dealt with immediately or only after strong emotions have passed."
Source 1. When someone makes a mistake and takes responsibility for it, giving them another chance can help repair the relationship. People are not perfect, and an honest apology may show that they have understood the consequences of their behaviour and want to do better in the future.
Source 2. Giving another chance is not always the right solution. If the same behaviour continues and repeated apologies are not followed by real change, the other person may lose trust. Protecting yourself from further disappointment can sometimes be more important than repairing the relationship.
Source 2. Giving another chance is not always the right solution. If the same behaviour continues and repeated apologies are not followed by real change, the other person may lose trust. Protecting yourself from further disappointment can sometimes be more important than repairing the relationship.
Model answer:
"Both sources deal with the question of whether people should be given another chance after they have damaged a relationship. The first source focuses on the possibility of repairing the relationship when a person accepts responsibility and sincerely apologises. The second source points out that an apology may not be enough if the same behaviour continues. The central issue is therefore how people should decide whether to forgive a mistake and continue the relationship or protect themselves from being disappointed again."
Useful patterns
- The main issue is whether...
- The two sources raise the question of whether...
- The central question is whether...
- Both sources focus on...
- The material explores the question of...
- The issue presented in the two sources concerns...
- The two sources raise the issue of...
How to Find the Main Issue
1. Find the shared topic. Ask yourself: What are both sources talking about? Do not focus on small details yet. Find the general subject that connects them.
2. Find the difference. Ask: What is different about the two sources? They may present:
1. Find the shared topic. Ask yourself: What are both sources talking about? Do not focus on small details yet. Find the general subject that connects them.
2. Find the difference. Ask: What is different about the two sources? They may present:
- two different views;
- a benefit and a problem;
- two possible solutions;
- different causes or consequences;
- two ways of dealing with the same situation.
This difference usually leads you towards the main issue.
3. Turn the difference into a bigger question. Ask: What question could both sources be answering? The main issue is usually not one source or the other. It is the larger question that connects them.
4. Formulate. A good main issue should:
3. Turn the difference into a bigger question. Ask: What question could both sources be answering? The main issue is usually not one source or the other. It is the larger question that connects them.
4. Formulate. A good main issue should:
- include both sources;
- focus on the central problem or question;
- avoid unnecessary details;
- not include your personal opinion yet.