Read the text. Choose the best answer for each question.
A message receives no reply. Someone makes a careless comment. A small problem suddenly becomes much bigger. Why do simple problems sometimes turn into serious arguments?
Researchers who study relationships say that our attitude towards a situation can change our behaviour. If we already think that another person is being unfair, we may understand a simple comment in the wrong way. We can get annoyed with someone, get upset or answer angrily before we know what really happened. Sometimes we even hurt someone’s feelings without wanting to.
At this point, many people try to prove that they are right. However, this can have an unpleasant consequence. Instead of solving the original problem, both people may start trying to protect their own position. One person may speak their mind, while the other tries to avoid an argument by becoming quiet or leaving the conversation.
Experts on relationships often suggest a different approach. First, both people may need some time to calm down. When their feelings are less strong, it becomes easier to discuss the problem and clear things up. Sometimes they discover that the argument started simply because one person did not understand what the other meant.
If one person has behaved badly, an apology can be important. But saying “sorry” may not be enough. A sincere apology also means being ready to admit you were wrong and take responsibility for your actions. It is important to understand why the other person was hurt instead of immediately trying to explain why you were right.
The other person then has a choice. They may accept the apology, or they may need more time. They might still be disappointed with someone they trusted. In some situations, they may decide to give someone another chance.
People can disagree with someone without needing to have an argument. What matters is how they deal with a problem afterwards. When both people listen carefully, accept responsibility and look for a solution, a difficult situation can sometimes make the relationship stronger.
The goal is not to avoid every difference of opinion. It is to learn how to solve a problem without damaging the relationship.
Researchers who study relationships say that our attitude towards a situation can change our behaviour. If we already think that another person is being unfair, we may understand a simple comment in the wrong way. We can get annoyed with someone, get upset or answer angrily before we know what really happened. Sometimes we even hurt someone’s feelings without wanting to.
At this point, many people try to prove that they are right. However, this can have an unpleasant consequence. Instead of solving the original problem, both people may start trying to protect their own position. One person may speak their mind, while the other tries to avoid an argument by becoming quiet or leaving the conversation.
Experts on relationships often suggest a different approach. First, both people may need some time to calm down. When their feelings are less strong, it becomes easier to discuss the problem and clear things up. Sometimes they discover that the argument started simply because one person did not understand what the other meant.
If one person has behaved badly, an apology can be important. But saying “sorry” may not be enough. A sincere apology also means being ready to admit you were wrong and take responsibility for your actions. It is important to understand why the other person was hurt instead of immediately trying to explain why you were right.
The other person then has a choice. They may accept the apology, or they may need more time. They might still be disappointed with someone they trusted. In some situations, they may decide to give someone another chance.
People can disagree with someone without needing to have an argument. What matters is how they deal with a problem afterwards. When both people listen carefully, accept responsibility and look for a solution, a difficult situation can sometimes make the relationship stronger.
The goal is not to avoid every difference of opinion. It is to learn how to solve a problem without damaging the relationship.
1. What may happen before people fully understand the situation?
2. When can an apology become especially important?
3. What does the writer imply about disagreement and argument?
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